Satanic Temple, You Are Officially Out of ControlS

The Satanic Temple has released the design for the satanic monument that they want to erect in front of the Oklahoma Statehouse.

That's Baphomet, the official mascot of Satanism, sitting upon a majestic Satanic throne flanked by children with a finger raised in the air as if to say "I declare Oklahoma the most metal state, ever!" Here's what Satanic Temple spokesman Lucien Greaves had to say:

"The monument has been designed to reflect the views of Satanists in Oklahoma City and beyond. The statue will serve as a beacon calling for compassion and empathy among all living creatures. The statue will also have a functional purpose as a chair where people of all ages may sit on the lap of Satan for inspiration and contemplation,"

First of all, big points to Satanism for having a spokesman named Lucien Greaves. Second, I know when I think of Satan, I think compassion and empathy and I often wish that I could sit in his lap for a while. If and when this statue actually happens, I will drive to Oklahoma just to take a picture on Old Scratch's lap. I will also check out the monument to atheism that I built there about fifteen years ago. You can see it in this picture about 6 feet to the side of the Ten Commandants monument.

Satanic Temple, You Are Officially Out of Control