It is 1:18 AM EST Time on March 27th, 2014

Our names are Xeos, Captain Max and JINX, mxyzptlk, RemediosVaro, Mika McKinnon, and 99TelepodProblems. We are the last known survivors of the deep space ODeck observation platform. We've lost all contact with the other members of our crew and can only assume they are dead. Our current location is unknown. If you hear this transmission find Nick Denton and tell him Kinja sucks.